St. Patricks Day.

St. Patricks day is right around the corner. (Actually, it's 2 weeks away, but in some countries it could take 2 weeks to get around a corner.) So you're probably just going to wait until 9:32 pm on March 16th to realize you don't own anything green. So you'll be freaking the freak out and running all over town trying to find something green. Here's a tip, get up from your computer (or smartphone for you mobile readers) and go look in your closet to see if you own something green. If you didn't have anything, go to your neighbors house and look in her closet. If she didn't have something, now you can start freaking the freak out. (Actually, no you can't. Just make yourself a reminder to go find something green this week) But you don't have to wear a green shirt, you can wear anything green. You can paint your nails green, just make sure it's a good shade of green. Not one that looks like some sort of nail fungus. You can put on some green eyeshadow, but not an ugly shade. You want to look like a mystical female leprechaun, not some girl from the 80's with lime green eyeshadow. You could wear green socks, you just have to make sure people can see your feet. But maybe you could hide your feet and then when someone pinches you, you can show them your socks and kick them in their left shin and say something like "YOU FREAKING IDIOT." That would be fun. You could paint your face green. You could stop brushing your teeth and have them grow mold on them. You could wear green pants. You could dye your hair green. The possibilities are endless. You just want to make sure you're wearing green. So you don't get pinched. Cause being pinched hurts. Who even came up with that idea? "Hey, lets invent a holiday where you HAVE to wear green or someone pinches you." Well I'm going to invent my own holiday. You have to wear purple or you get a nail stuck in the bottom of your right foot. It will be on February 28 every single year. Be there, or you get a nail in your foot. Who comes up with these things? I bet the person was high when they came up with it, that's why you have to wear green.. It's one of the days in the year where you can't be original. Well, I guess you can, but you will pay for it in pinches. Just wear green..