Southerners eating habits.

What do a dove, a rabbit, a turtle, a quail, and an alligator all have in common? Well, they're all animals to start off.. But that's not what I'm looking for. They're all animals that people in the south eat. These people are just twisted.. I'm sorry, that was rude, but it's true. Tonight I was talking to a friend of mine from the south. (SHOUTOUT TO GRAM GRAM) She was telling me about some of the foods her family likes to eat. I was so confused and disgusted at the same time. I knew I had to make a comedic blogpost about this. To start things off, I'm going to as you a question. Who wants to eat a dove? A majestic, beautiful, white bird that magicians pull out of their left shoe during magic shows?(I know you just said yes, Gram Gram.) SERIOUSLY PEOPLE? What on earth makes you think this is okay? Now things go even more downhill.. They eat rabbits. Rabbits. Cute little bunny rabbits hopping down the trail looking for a carrot. You want to eat that?What is wrong with you people? What about that sounds appetizing? When I think of rabbits, I don't think "YUM! I would like to eat that for an afternoon snack." I think "OMG SO FREAKING FLUFFY!!" Then we move to the ocean for this next one. They eat turtles… One word; THATISDISGUSTINGANDTWISTED. Turtles. Seriously? In my opinion, that's not really fair to the turtles.. The turtles are too slow to get away from the horrible, mean people who are hunting them. How do you even hunt for turtles? Go to the beach and find a nest? OH MY GOODNESS. That thought just makes me want to cry a bathtub full of tears. (But I guess that can help save on my water bill) Now we can take this one to the home. They also eat quail.. I guess since they're so easy to get they think it's okay. But I think quails belong flying around my neighborhood, not sitting on my plate. Quails are the cutest birds in the world. (With the excepting of big bird. He'll always be in my heart) With their little horns poking up, they're like the unicorns of the bird community. Finally, the most twisted of them all, AN ALLIGATOR. This… I can't even. This creature. This beast from the swamp. You want to eat this? WHY? Can you explain to me what sounds so delicious about an alligator? This thing can bite your head off with one chomp. Maybe they're like bears… They can tell when someone has messed with their kids. You see that alligator crossing the road? (Oh, in the south they also have alligator crossing signs) Yeah, well you just ate it's nephews girlfriend and now it wants to eat your face off. Betcha didn't think of that when you were enjoying your alligator dipped in ranch dressing. Think of it this way, those animals have families, and you took them away from them. Bread doesn't have a family. Green apples don't have a family. Chocolate syrup doesn't have a family. See, the delicious foods aren't as bad because they don't have a family. I wasn't trying to hurt anyones feelings while writing about your sick, nasty, twisted eating habits, but I hope you understand, you're all a bunch of weirdos.