Impress.

Listen up ladies, I'm going to teach you how to nail any guy you want. Just follow me along this journey and you can become Mrs.Insert Crushes Last Name Here. (Hopefully, no ones crush has that last name)

1. Clothes
Obviously, nothing you own has impressed him yet. So you'll want to burn your whole wardrobe and go buy new things. You'll want to shop at stores like Gucci, Prada, Louis Vuitton, Juicy Couture, and Chanel. Even if you bus tables, you can afford these clothes. Who needs electricity when you have a designer handbag?

2. Makeup
Guys dig girls who look pretty. So you'll want to make sure you look nothing like you really do. Cake on as much makeup as you can. Tons of bronzer, blush, eyeliner, and lipgloss. You want to look like a sun-kissed goddess.

3.  Boobs
LET'S BE HONEST. Guys like girls with giant boobs. The bigger the better. So BEFORE you go buy your Juicy Couture bra's, you'll want to get a boob job. Sure, it's expensive, but you'll be able to get any man you want with those things. You can look in the classifieds of your Sunday paper to find someone to enhance your breasts for you.

4. Attitude
You'll want to act as stupid as possible. When he starts talking about anything, ask lots of questions. Even if you have a PhD, you want to act as dumb as you can. Also, laugh at everything he says. Even if he's telling you about how his hermit crab died, LAUGH. And laugh hard, loud, and for a long time. He'll appreciate that you like his sense of humor

So, buy expensive clothes, makeup, and get a boob job and you can impress any guy you want. Don't worry if he doesn't call you for a second date, he's too busy getting over how amazing the first one was.